


Make Me A Future

by SaiyanPrincess3



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Dean's heartbroken, Death, F/M, Reader's POV, Sam's POV, Sam's heartbroken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 13:14:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5587009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaiyanPrincess3/pseuds/SaiyanPrincess3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the reader falls ill Sam stays by her side until the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Me A Future

Sam sat with you. He never left the chair by your hospital bed. He tried to keep a brave face and a smile but you knew he was suffering just as much as you were. Cancer. With all of the things you'd faced and all of the monsters that had tried to kill you, cancer was what did it. Dean came and went throughout the day. He always had some trinket or bobble from the gift shop downstairs with him. You knew he was trying to make you feel better but you couldn't fathom what you would need any of the things for.

Sam was watching your face in silence with your frail hand held in his big one. “You remember that time we ditched Dean in Illinois?” A small smile tugged at the corner of your lips.

“Yeah, Sam. You looked at me and said 'He's gonna be wrapped up for a few days, let's do something for us.'” A sad smile worked it's way onto the hunter's lips.

“He was and we were back before he even knew we were gone.” You nodded weakly. The doctors had told you it wouldn't be long now. As much as you loved talking to Sam about the things you'd shared. You couldn't fathom that you wouldn't have the future that you wanted.

“Sam… As much as I love our past…” You watched the expression on his face drop. You felt horrible that he thought you wanted him to stop talking. It wasn't that. There was nothing in your mind that didn't want to hear his voice. “Stop talking about our past… I could be dead in a matter of hours… Make me up a future.” A sad smile was playing at his features and he gave a small nod.

“We'd have a house, no more hunting, no more monsters, no more saving the world. You'd get to read on lazy Sunday afternoons and our kids would drive you insane in the best way. When we needed a break uncle Dean would come and take them for the day. We'd have family dinners and on holidays everyone would gather around our table because you make the best pie anyone's ever eaten.” You could hear the shaking in Sam's voice but it was too hard to hold your eyes open any longer. “We'd watch our kids go to school and make friends. High school graduations and open houses would be held in our backyard. We'd see them off to college and you'd cry even though you'd swear you weren't. Once our house was empty you'd pretend that you were happy to have time to yourself but we'd both miss our kids and call them every day until we drove them crazy.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

“I heard the heart beat monitor flat line. I couldn't move, no sound would escape my mouth. You were gone. The nurses were rushing in and moving me off to the side but I couldn't understand how this could happen. You had been fine and then suddenly you weren't. I watched as your body slowly gave up. It had happened over the course of a few months. I couldn't do anything to fix it. Cas was human and you had made me and Dean promise not to make a crossroads deal.

I barely heard the doctor declare your time of death. Dean rushed in a moment later and watched the horror in front of us. His face was a mask of shock and anger. Both of us stood there in the room frozen. I watched as a faceless nurse pulled a sheet over your head and my mind didn't even register the words of condolence that they muttered as they left the room to call the morgue.

Dean's arm was around my shoulders and he was trying to pull me from the room. My body finally responded to what my brain was trying to tell it and I ripped myself from his grip and my feet were carrying me across the room. I was by your side and I could hear someone begging for this to be a nightmare. It took a moment for me to realize it was my voice begging, my words pleading for you to wake up, for you not to leave me. I didn't move from my place beside you until another nameless, faceless nurse came and took you away to the morgue.

 

It was December. It had been six months since you'd been gone. I watched from the front door of the bunker as small flakes of snow started to fall. I had finally stopped seeing you every time I turned a corner or when my eyes were hazy with sleep.

Dean didn't know what to do. He tried to pull me 'out of my funk' in the beginning but there was no use. I couldn't do anything that reminded me of you. I had to move rooms in the bunker and I avoided the kitchen as much as possible.

There were only a few moments that I allowed myself to think of you. Right before I went to bed at night was one of them. I kept your phone on and the bill paid and every night I'd call it. If Dean knew he'd probably tell me it was unhealthy. I couldn't help it though. That was the only way I could hear your voice and I wasn't passing it up. I listened to your voicemail message “Hey you've reached [Y/N]. If this is an emergency and you can't reach me call Sam Winchester.”

 

It took another six months before I was able to go on a hunt again. I couldn't throw myself in to my work like I had before. This was different. You'd lived this life with me. You'd seen the things we try to save people from and they all knew about you. Work wasn't a distraction for the loss it was a reminder. I didn't have you on my left kicking ass and keeping me on track.

Dean didn't go on cases until I was ready and when I was we started small. It was like we were kids again getting the feel for hunting. Everything was back to just me and Dean and getting used to that dynamic again was a challenge. I'd catch myself glancing over my shoulder to check on you only to find that you weren't there. I caught Dean doing the same thing a few times. Neither of us mentioned it.

 

So now, I'm standing here beside your grave. I mean I know you're not really here or anything because we gave you the hunter's funeral you would have wanted. I guess I can't say goodbye. I don't know how to anymore. You'd think it would have gotten better, easier, but it's not. I just don't know what to do without you, [Y/N]. You always knew how to make a bad day better and you never let us have a dull moment. Dean misses you too. We always will but I hope that whatever decides what it takes to be a soul mate lets me share heaven with you. I love you so much.

Sam”

I set the letter on the makeshift headstone and Dean clapped his hand on my shoulder before steering me away from the grave.


End file.
